A couple of months ago I read this outstanding book by the kick-ass Shonda Rhimes called “The Year of Yes”, in which she talks about reaching a turning point in her life and decides that for one year she will say YES to everything that scares her.
During a routine bout with insomnia, I realized that this IS my year of YES. I am sure you have noticed some big changes in my life the past few years. I lost my mom, my grandparents, and my father in law, burned myself badly, sold my house, built a new one, got divorced and completely changed my business. Whew! Sounds like a lot even when I type it!
Shonda gracefully talks about the importance of saying no, so that you can say yes when it really matters. I am a horrible people pleaser. I hate saying no to anything, especially if I think it will cause drama, hurt someone’s feelings, or reflect badly on me. I just say yes, and then figure it out.
For so many years I have been saying yes to the wrong things. The things that I think I am supposed to do, say or create. This year however, I have designated as my year of YES. Yes to adventures, to travel, to meeting new people and making them smile. Yes to creativity and growing in my craft, to late night snuggles on school nights, to laughing, crying, taking a stand. I will be saying no to people that don’t reciprocate, or who drain me, work that doesn’t fulfill me or represent my brand or passion, and mom obligations that are on the “supposed to do because…” list. I will say yes to giving people a chance, listening to stories, being brave when I want to retreat. I will create more beauty, more love, and more laughter, and forgive myself and others when it gets ugly.
Because saying no, means you get to say YES when it really matters.
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